As I sit here holding this now one month old baby girl, I thank God over and over for her life. It's pretty amazing to be able to say that I have witnessed firsthand both the power of prayer and a true miracle of God. According to medicine and the doctors themselves, Tessa shouldn't have survived in utero. She also shouldn't have done so well after birth, only requiring a 10 day nicu stay. But she did- much to the amazement of her doctors- and truthfully, much to the amazement of myself. I have to admit that I was very reluctant to let myself believe that she was going to make it. It wasn't that I didn't think God was capable of preserving her life- I knew He could if that was His will. And that was what I worried about- that maybe His will was for her to be in Heaven instead of in this world.
He has other plans for her, however, and I am beyond thankful.
Early on, there was one doctor in particular who couldn't seem to believe that I wanted to continue with this pregnancy. She mentioned termination-and when I refused, she stared at me and said, "So, you're okay with this?" with a look of disbelief. She later told me that at that time she didn't think the baby was going to make it even another couple of weeks. After Tessa was born, she stopped by my recovery room a couple times to see how I was, and I ran into her several times in Tessa's nicu room- sometimes just standing by the door and watching. She wasn't my doctor anymore, or Tessa's- but she couldn't seem to stay away. I just wonder if maybe her views on abortion have changed from our experience. I hope so. I hope that she will no longer suggest or encourage abortion when there is a problem, but that she will think of us and encourage continuation of a high risk pregnancy. I also plan to share Tessa's story on baby websites, hoping to encourage other moms who may be given a similar diagnosis. There aren't many babies born with KT Syndrome or Cloves Syndrome (the two syndromes that Tessa might have...time will hopefully be able to confirm which, if either, she has) because most of them are aborted. Our hope is that Tessa's story can make a difference, even if it's in one baby's life.
Ready to go at
36 weeks, 2 days
So, let's talk about this enormous purple gown I was forced to wear. It had fans in it that provided heat to keep my temperature up during surgery. It was incredibly large, uncomfortable, and itchy...and just really added to the whole experience. #not
Wannabe surgeons
Miss Tessa settled in the nicu. All 10.7 lbs and 20.5 inches of her. Hearing her cry as she entered this world is a sound I'll never
forget.
I was finally able to see her 10 hours later. She was all hooked up to an EEG and it broke my heart.
Even a pretty bow couldn't conceal all the nasty residue on her skin and hair from the EEG tape. I could not wait to get her home and wash her up.
First time meeting her big sisters and brother.
These two held down the fort while Ben and I were at the hospital and when we came home. It was a lot of work, and I know the crazy three amigos wore them out, but I am so incredibly thankful they were there.
She was inside that big contraption headed to her MRI
First time I was able to hold her- 5 days after she was born
The day she was transported to Covenant hospital, which much closer than Iowa City. The room was huge and made it much easier to be with her all day or night.
Just the feeding tube left, which she wasn't even using since I was there all day nursing her.
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| Grammy and Grace napping |
My mom, Claire, and I slept over at the hospital so I could nurse her constantly and then be able to take her home the following day.
HOORAY! I'M GOING HOME!
(and yes, she looks like a toddler in this picture...I assure you, she's not that big).
